For those that have problems with ED or performance anxiety, dating can put you in a state of anxiety. Rather than looking forward to sex you are dreading having yet another failure. You live in fear of the fallout – embarrassment, losing the girl, gossip, etc.
This is the worst case scenario for those suffering from the “vicious cycle” – fear of a previous failure screwing with your head and causing you to fail again (The focus of my book)
The only way to fight this and ensure the best possible chances of glorious success is to be proactive. Here 10 actions you can take immediately, today, that will increase your chances of success.
1. Load your system with energy dense, fatty foods.
A surplus of fat and cholesterol in your system will prime your nervous system and increase Testosterone. Drink a couple of glasses of whole milk, eat some eggs, eat some nuts, grab a cheeseburger, etc.
2. Take a multi-vitamin.
The goal is to eliminate any mineral deficiencies you might have. Your nervous system and circulatory system requires a complicated chemistry of vitamins and minerals to operate at peak performance.
3. Don’t masturbate or look at porn.
Your mind and body can exhaust itself sexually. Instead your body and mind must be hungry.
4. Get your body moving!
Do some light cardio and moderate weight lifting. Cardio helps get blood circulating and weight lifting spurs Testosterone production. Even a simple walk can give the same effects as microdosing Viagra. The point is to get invigorated, not exhausted. If no weights are available do body weight exercises like push-ups, pull-ups, dips, sit-ups, planks, etc.
5. Practice positive visualization.
Take time to quietly day dream about all the specific things that really turn you on. These are your private thoughts, so think about whatever kinky stuff you want. Visualize yourself thrusting away – picture every glorious stroke. This helps to get your brain in a relaxed, sexual state of mind.
6. Avoid Stress.
Do your best to avoid stressful and depressing situations throughout the day. Stress hormones can linger in your body for hours and wreck your sex drive.
7. Make a backup plan.
Think about how you will react if you fail to get a hard on. Plan to be casual and un-flustered. Come up with an easy line like, “I guess he has stage fright, he’ll come around.” Then take the lead and focus on pleasuring her. By taking the lead you eliminate the space for awkwardness and embarrassment. Having a plan will give you confidence. Confidence will help you relax. Showing her a good time will increase the odds for future opportunities.
Don’t dwell on these thoughts, just make a plan, tuck it away and move on to more positive thoughts.
8. Briefly visualize the worst case scenario.
While seemingly counter intuitive, limited and constructive “negative thinking” can help to reduce fear. Imagine the worse case scenario and think about what will happen. This practice helps to eliminate the “fear of the unknown.” Since you have already visualized what will happen, it is no longer “unknown” and you will fear it less.
9. Take ED and/or anxiety medications.
If a doctor has prescribed them for you, they may be just the crutch you need. While drug free function is preferable, there is no shame in getting a little help. Hopefully you won’t need them after you restore you confidence and get a track record of success. Also, don’t forget the original anxiety med – alcohol. A glass of wine or shot of liquor won’t give you “Whiskey Dick,” but it will help take the edge off.
I thoroughly cover my experiences with anxiety and ED medications (including how to get them) in my book.
10. Take a nap!
A nap is like a miracle drug. It replenishes all aspects of your body and mind. It helps Testosterone production, lowers stress, and gives you energy.
11. Remember the golden rule.
When you are finally with your girl, turn off your brain. Focus only on your senses. Look at what turns you on, pay attention to what your hands and skin feel, smell her, listen to her. You want to be immersed in positive sensations and devoid of distracting thoughts.